(Continued)
Although customs are changing rapidly, greetings don’t normally include handshakes. The Chinese prefer to bow or nod their heads. The demeanor at first encounters is respectful and almost solemn. Don’t expect broad smiles. The common greeting is “Have you eaten?” It is the equivalent of the American “How are you?” Always answer in the affirmative, whether it’s true or not.
Punctuality is extremely important, especially in business. When you offer or receive a business card, do so with both hands and make a point of reading it carefully before you put it in your pocket.
Most Chinese are extremely interested in meeting foreigners. They are not judgmental when they see you struggle with the cultural differences, have difficulties with your chopsticks or don’t know the proper way to eat soup. If they laugh, it’s all in good spirit.
At first encounters, small talk is preferred to serious discussion. If someone doesn’t understand what you are trying to say, you will be responded to with a silent smile. The same may happen if a person tries to avoid saying no to you, which is considered rude. If you need to address a sensitive subject, do so very carefully and make certain that nobody “loses face,” which is paramount in Chinese culture.
If you are invited for dinner to a private home, it is polite to bring a gift, ideally something from your own country. Alcohol, chocolate and cigarettes are always welcome and you can purchase these duty-free at the airport before you clear customs.
At the dinner table, you may be urged to eat more than you intend to. It is part of Chinese hospitality to show utmost generosity towards guests. To avoid overeating, it is better to eat slowly and in small bites than to decline more food when it’s offered. When eating in larger groups, it is good manners to keep passing dishes around the table so nobody has to reach or ask for help.
Chinese dinner parties typically involve a lot of drinking. Some hosts consider it their duty to get the guests drunk. Expect much toasting. Customarily, the host will offer the first toast with the words “Gan bei,” which means, “empty your glass.” You are not supposed to “nurse” your drink but drain it quickly. It will be refilled in no time for another toast, and so forth. Good luck with that.
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